You cannot compare.
You cannot correlate yourselves with the people,
That my heart holds dear.
You are not what they are,
Nobody is, but they are.
A family, I mean.
People to hold and love you with every fiber.
What they are is what I require.
It is not a desire, but a need,
A seed that grows in my soul,
That tears at my seams.
I cherish how they are with me.
Not by convenience, but by need
Both of heart and mind,
The body being of an expressive kind.
I want a family.
I need a family.
This you cannot give me,
Not in the morning, even lesser in the evening.
All I need is a family,
But to have it, I never can.
The ability to run and hide inside of that clam
When the sharks arrive.
Instead, you are all the sharks.
Those sharks that live inside of my inexistent clam.
For I have no family, no place to hold
In those days when life doesn’t makes me feel bold.
Or when a doze of love I need to get ahold.
I cannot have it with you.
Love seems inexistent in your current parental vow.
Dry, painful and utterly shattering.
That is my state with what you think is “Love and parenting”.
Empty and broken I felt.
In the beginnings of dark days I wept.
But then, they came!
My saviors from these dark and burning flames,
Healing my burned and unkept heart,
Nurturing to contentment.
Fostered in their bosom of tenderness,
My soul is complete.
With them you cannot compare,
Do not even dare to compete.
For my love for this family is so pure and bare,
I chose their sweet warmth to your bitter winter streak.
And although my feelings for them are unrolled and literally there,
You sincerely don’t seem to care.
by Noexis M. Llanos